android bbm

Looking back...there are lot of things I wish I did...or did differently.

Not that I totally regret my life mind you. It's just life is so short...in retrospect it's such a shame not to have lived it to its fullest. You only realize this when you reach a certain age. All of a sudden...you realize...that it's already too late.

I'm not talking about really heavy stuff...though a few pop into my mind. This post is about the small things that wish we wish we did in the past, when there was still a lot of time, before we got sucked into the routine that would, for good or for bad, define our adult lives.

Me, for example:

I wish I learned how to dance;

I wish I learned to play the guitar really, really good;

I wish I learned how to play the piano;

I wish I learned to eat right from the very start;

I wish I learned how too cook;

I wish I learned another language;

I wish I saved more at the bank;

I wish I was friendlier with people;

Well...you get the idea.

Looking on the bright side though, I can still do some of those things. Maybe.

What can I say? Hindsight always has better vision than foresight.

That's why at times I look at my son, my nephews, my nieces, who are all at least twenty or so years younger than me...with envy. So young, so full of drive, of hopes and dreams for the future. I was like that once. A long time ago.

I hope and I pray that they all live life to the fullest. And that goes for all young people out there.

In my case at least, it would seem that life has sucked the life out of me. If that isn't ironic I don't know what is.

As they say though, hope spring eternal.

So maybe I shouldn't give up just yet. Not just on the small things...but on the big things as well.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

- Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733

Kings and Queens
30 Seconds To Mars

Oh...

Into the night
Desperate and broken
The sound of a fight
Father has spoken

Oh...

We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell
Heaven and Hell

Into your eyes
Hopeless and taken
We stole our new lives
Through blindness
In defense of our dreams
In defense of our dreams

We were the Kings and Queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the Children of a lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell
Heaven and Hell

The age of man is over
A darkness comes at dawn
These lessons that we've learned here
Have only just begun

We were the Kings and Queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the Children of a Lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell

We are the Kings
We are the Queens
We are the Kings
We are the Queens

Just a repost. You never know who might notice.

Anyone here interested in purchasing or leasing a plot of commercial land located along Commonwealth Ave. in Quezon City? It's my father's property, and it has a lot area of 2,844 sqm., with a number of residential improvements. The frontage is a bit on the small side, at 14 m., but it directly faces Commonwealth Ave.

The lot has been on the market for quite a while, but since the real estate market has been down for some time now...well you know how it is.

Just in case you're interested, or know someone who is, please feel free to leave a comment or to email me at ronallandottk@yahoo.com. To cut the hassle, would prefer to deal with direct buyers only. Sometimes it can be quite hard dealing with a multitude of brokers and middlemen...you know how that is too. :-)

You can also call 9315575 if you have any inquiries.

Siteplan of the property.


Aerial view. The road at the top of the photo is Commonwealth Avenue.


Here's a tighter aerial shot. The improvements are clearly visible from this distance.

And just in case you're wondering, no, I didn't hire an airplane or a helicopter. Used Google Earth instead. :-)

Lord, let this feast of my birth be a reminder to me of all the gifts and blessings I have received from You this day and all the days of my life. On my day of celebration, I thank you for my life and all of my blessings and ask for another year filled with Your presence in my life that I may continue to grow in your love.

Gracious God, I thank You for enabling me to celebrate my birthday. Lord You have been good to me all these years and I thank You for all the blessings I have recieved but especially for life itself.

Creator God, I do not know what lies ahead for me this year. Yet I know that You are holding my future in Your hand. Let my ways be pleasing to you. As You have promised, be with me, Lord. Grid me with Your strength and grace so that I can live for Your light. Enable me to draw closer to You that I may walk in your peace and be the creative and loving person that you intend for me to be. I ask this and all things in the sure and certain knowledge of your love for me and for all your people. Amen.

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy.. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace.. Where there is need, I ask You to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.

Bought my first new phone in three years a week ago, something to replace my aging N95 8GB. To be honest, it's a step down in features from the N95 (no 3G or HSDPA, no video calling, 3.2 megapixel camera vs the N95's 5 megapixels, no digital zoom, no GPS, no headphone jack) but it has Wi-Fi connectivity (just like the N95), a touchscreen interface (takes some getting used to), and more importantly, it's a dual-sim phone, a feature I've been interested in for quite a while now. It's also my first LG phone, having had nothing but Nokias for my main phones for more than a decade. LG isn't a pushover though, as far as mobile phone manufacturers are concerned...it's currently number 3 in the world.

Not really in the mood to write a full review right now, so here's something from Daily Digitals:

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life.

A huge heart ... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket was rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral ...I'm a gynecologist.'

The proctologist fainted.

It's been a while since I last posted something...

Haven't felt any motivation to blog lately...I don't know...maybe blogging is a dying art? And to think blogging hasn't been around that long.

These days the internet is mostly about Facebook and Twitter. Why bother writing long-winded essays when you can just publish one-line status updates? It doesn't seem like a lot of people nowadays want to exert the effort to commit their thoughts to keyboard, I mean really commit their thoughts...not just one-liners.

It can't be helped I guess. Things change.

Not many people I know blog or blog hop anymore. In the middle of the decade, which was just a few years ago, almost everyone I know was into blogging, into blog hopping, then having eyeballs with fellow bloggers. Then the most popular websites were Blogger, TypePad, and WordPress. Everyone seemed eager to share their thoughts and what not. Everybody wanted their blogs to be read. Alas, it seems the blog as we knew it is now dead.

Yes, there are still a lot of blogs around...but many have gravitated to being money earning enterprises...or found an area of specialization making it appealing only to a limited audience. The personal blog...unsubsidized, unsponsored, written with the earnestness and sincerity that only an thoughtful and insightful individual can muster...seems to be a dying breed.

Indeed, at times, I feel like quitting blogging altogether...and there are times that I've stopped blogging for months, only to come back again.

Oh well. No plans of quitting though. Just waiting for my motivation to come through.

State of the Nation Address

of His Excellency
Benigno S. Aquino III
President of the Philippines
to the Congress of the Philippines
Session Hall of the House of Representatives
July 26, 2010
[Batasan Pambansa Complex, Quezon City]

Speaker Feliciano Belmonte; Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile; Vice President Jejomar Binay; Chief Justice Renato Corona; Former Presidents Fidel Valdez Ramos and Joseph Ejercito Estrada; members of the House of Representatives and the Senate; distinguished members of the diplomatic corps; my fellow workers in government;

Mga minamahal kong kababayan:

Sa bawat sandali po ng pamamahala ay nahaharap tayo sa isang sangandaan.

Sa isang banda po ay ang pagpili para sa ikabubuti ng taumbayan. Ang pagtanaw sa interes ng nakakarami; ang pagkapit sa prinsipyo; at ang pagiging tapat sa sinumpaan nating tungkulin bilang lingkod-bayan. Ito po ang tuwid na daan.

Sa kabilang banda ay ang pag-una sa pansariling interes. Ang pagpapaalipin sa pulitikal na konsiderasyon, at pagsasakripisyo ng kapakanan ng taumbayan. Ito po ang baluktot na daan.

Matagal pong naligaw ang pamahalaan sa daang baluktot. Araw-araw po, lalong lumilinaw sa akin ang lawak ng problemang ating namana. Damang-dama ko ang bigat ng aking responsibilidad.

Sa unang tatlong linggo ng aming panunungkulan, marami po kaming natuklasan. Nais ko pong ipahayag sa inyo ang iilan lamang sa mga namana nating suliranin at ang ginagawa naming hakbang para lutasin ang mga ito.

Sulyap lamang po ito; hindi pa ito ang lahat ng problemang haharapin natin. Inilihim at sadyang iniligaw ang sambayanan sa totoong kalagayan ng ating bansa.

Sa unang anim na buwan ng taon, mas malaki ang ginastos ng gobyerno kaysa sa pumasok na kita. Lalong lumaki ang deficit natin, na umakyat na sa 196.7 billion pesos. Sa target na kuleksyon, kinapos tayo ng 23.8 billion pesos; ang tinataya namang gastos, nalagpasan natin ng 45.1 billion pesos.

Ang budget po sa 2010 ay 1.54 trillion pesos.

Nasa isandaang bilyong piso o anim at kalahating porsyento na lang ng kabuuan ang malaya nating magagamit para sa nalalabing anim na buwan ng taong ito.

Halos isang porsyento na lang po ng kabuuang budget ang natitira para sa bawat buwan.

Saan naman po dinala ang pera?

Naglaan ng dalawang bilyong piso na Calamity Fund bilang paghahanda para sa mga kalamidad na hindi pa nangyayari. Napakaliit na nga po ng pondong ito, ngunit kapapasok pa lang natin sa panahon ng baha at bagyo, 1.4 billion pesos o sitenta porsyento na ang nagastos.

Sa kabuuan ng 108 million pesos para sa lalawigan ng Pampanga, 105 million pesos nito ay napunta sa iisang distrito lamang. Samantala, ang lalawigan ng Pangasinan na sinalanta ng Pepeng ay nakatanggap ng limang milyong piso lamang para sa pinsalang idinulot ng bagyong Cosme, na nangyari noong 2008 pa.

Ibinigay po ang pondo ng Pampanga sa buwan ng eleksyon, pitong buwan pagkatapos ng Ondoy at Pepeng. Paano kung bumagyo bukas? Inubos na ang pondo nito para sa bagyong nangyari noong isang taon pa. Pagbabayaran ng kinabukasan ang kasakiman ng nakaraan.

Ganyan din po ang nangyari sa pondo ng MWSS. Kamakailan lamang, pumipila ang mga tao para lang makakuha ng tubig. Sa kabila nito, minabuti pa ng liderato ng MWSS na magbigay ng gantimpala sa sarili kahit hindi pa nababayaran ang pensyon ng mga retiradong empleyado.

Noong 2009, ang buong payroll ng MWSS ay 51.4 million pesos. Pero hindi lang naman po ito ang sahod nila; may mga additional allowances at benefits pa sila na aabot sa 160.1 million pesos. Sa madaling sabi, nakatanggap sila ng 211.5 million pesos noong nakaraang taon. Beinte-kuwatro porsyento lang nito ang normal na sahod, at sitenta’y sais porsyento ang dagdag.

Ang karaniwang manggagawa hanggang 13th month pay plus cash gift lang ang nakukuha. Sa MWSS, aabot sa katumbas ng mahigit sa tatlumpung buwan ang sahod kasama na ang lahat ng mga bonuses at allowances na nakuha nila.

Mas matindi po ang natuklasan natin sa pasahod ng kanilang Board of Trustees. Tingnan po natin ang mga allowances na tinatanggap nila:

Umupo ka lang sa Board of Trustees at Board Committee meeting, katorse mil na. Aabot ng nobenta’y otso mil ito kada buwan. May grocery incentive pa sila na otsenta mil kada taon.

Hindi lang iyon: may mid-year bonus, productivity bonus, anniversary bonus, year-end bonus, at Financial Assistance. May Christmas bonus na, may Additional Christmas Package pa. Kada isa sa mga ito, nobenta’y otso mil.

Sa suma total po, aabot ang lahat ng dalawa’t kalahating milyong piso kada taon sa bawat miyembro ng Board maliban sa pakotse, technical assistance, at pautang. Uulitin ko po. Lahat ng ito ay ibinibigay nila sa kanilang mga sarili habang hindi pa nababayaran ang mga pensyon ng kanilang mga retirees.

Pati po ang La Mesa Watershed ay hindi nila pinatawad. Para magkaroon ng tamang supply ng tubig, kailangang alagaan ang mga watershed. Sa watershed, puno ang kailangan. Pati po iyon na dapat puno ang nakatayo, tinayuan nila ng bahay para sa matataas na opisyal ng MWSS.

Hindi naman sila agad maaalis sa puwesto dahil kabilang sila sa mga Midnight Appointees ni dating Pangulong Arroyo. Iniimbestigahan na natin ang lahat nang ito. Kung mayroon pa silang kahit kaunting hiya na natitira – sana kusa na lang silang magbitiw sa puwesto.

Pag-usapan naman po natin ang pondo para sa imprastruktura. Tumukoy ang DPWH ng dalawandaan apatnapu’t anim na priority safety projects na popondohan ng Motor Vehicle Users Charge. Mangangailangan po ito ng budget na 425 million pesos.

Ang pinondohan po, dalawampu’t walong proyekto lang. Kinalimutan po ang dalawandaan at labing walong proyekto at pinalitan ng pitumpung proyekto na wala naman sa plano. Ang hininging 425 million pesos, naging 480 million pesos pa, lumaki lalo dahil sa mga proyektong sa piling-piling mga benepisyaryo lang napunta.

Mga proyekto po itong walang saysay, hindi pinag-aralan at hindi pinaghandaan, kaya parang kabuteng sumusulpot.

Tapos na po ang panahon para dito. Sa administrasyon po natin, walang kota-kota, walang tongpats, ang pera ng taumbayan ay gagastusin para sa taumbayan lamang.

Meron pa po tayong natuklasan. Limang araw bago matapos ang termino ng nakaraang administrasyon, nagpautos silang maglabas ng 3.5 billion pesos para sa rehabilitasyon ng mga nasalanta nina Ondoy at Pepeng.

Walumpu’t anim na proyekto ang paglalaanan dapat nito na hindi na sana idadaan sa public bidding. Labingsiyam sa mga ito na nagkakahalaga ng 981 million pesos ang muntik nang makalusot. Hindi pa nailalabas ang Special Allotment Release Order ay pirmado na ang mga kontrata.

Buti na lang po ay natuklasan at pinigilan ito ni Secretary Rogelio Singson ng DPWH. Ngayon po ay dadaan na ang kabuuan ng 3.5 billion pesos sa tapat na bidding, at magagamit na ang pondo na ito sa pagbibigay ng lingap sa mga nawalan ng tahanan dahil kina Ondoy at Pepeng.

Pag-usapan naman natin ang nangyari sa NAPOCOR. Noong 2001 hanggang 2004, pinilit ng gobyerno ang NAPOCOR na magbenta ng kuryente nang palugi para hindi tumaas ang presyo. Tila ang dahilan: pinaghahandaan na nila ang eleksyon.

Dahil dito, noong 2004, sumagad ang pagkakabaon sa utang ng NAPOCOR. Napilitan ang pambansang gobyerno na sagutin ang dalawandaang bilyong pisong utang nito.

Ang inakala ng taumbayan na natipid nila sa kuryente ay binabayaran din natin mula sa kaban ng bayan. May gastos na tayo sa kuryente, binabayaran pa natin ang dagdag na pagkakautang ng gobyerno.

Kung naging matino ang pag-utang, sana’y nadagdagan ang ating kasiguruhan sa supply ng kuryente. Pero ang desisyon ay ibinatay sa maling pulitika, at hindi sa pangangailangan ng taumbayan. Ang taumbayan, matapos pinagsakripisyo ay lalo pang pinahirapan.

Ganito rin po ang nangyari sa MRT. Sinubukan na namang bilhin ang ating pagmamahal. Pinilit ang operator na panatilihing mababa ang pamasahe.

Hindi tuloy nagampanan ang garantiyang ibinigay sa operator na mababawi nila ang kanilang puhunan. Dahil dito, inutusan ang Landbank at Development Bank of the Philippines na bilhin ang MRT.

Ang pera ng taumbayan, ipinagpalit sa isang naluluging operasyon.

Dumako naman po tayo sa pondo ng NFA.

Noong 2004: 117,000 metric tons ang pagkukulang ng supply ng Pilipinas. Ang binili nila, 900,000 metric tons. Kahit ulitin mo pa ng mahigit pitong beses ang pagkukulang, sobra pa rin ang binili nila.

Noong 2007: 589,000 metric tons ang pagkukulang ng supply sa Pilipinas. Ang binili nila, 1.827 million metric tons. Kahit ulitin mo pa ng mahigit tatlong beses ang pagkukulang, sobra na naman ang binili nila.

Ang masakit nito, dahil sobra-sobra ang binibili nila taun-taon, nabubulok lang pala sa mga kamalig ang bigas, kagaya ng nangyari noong 2008.

Hindi po ba krimen ito, na hinahayaan nilang mabulok ang bigas, sa kabila ng apat na milyong Pilipinong hindi kumakain ng tatlong beses sa isang araw?

Ang resulta nito, umabot na sa 171.6 billion pesos ang utang ng NFA noong Mayo ng taong ito.

Ang tinapon na ito, halos puwede na sanang pondohan ang mga sumusunod:

Ang budget ng buong Hudikatura, na 12.7 billion pesos sa taong ito.

Ang Conditional Cash Transfers para sa susunod na taon, na nagkakahalaga ng 29.6 billion pesos.

Ang lahat ng classroom na kailangan ng ating bansa, na nagkakahalaga ng 130 billion pesos.

Kasuklam-suklam ang kalakarang ito. Pera na, naging bato pa.

Narinig po ninyo kung paano nilustay ang kaban ng bayan. Ang malinaw po sa ngayon: ang anumang pagbabago ay magmumula sa pagsiguro natin na magwawakas na ang pagiging maluho at pagwawaldas.

Kaya nga po mula ngayon: ititigil na natin ang paglulustay sa salapi ng bayan. Tatanggalin natin ang mga proyektong mali.

Ito po ang punto ng tinatawag nating zero-based approach sa ating budget. Ang naging kalakaran po, taun-taon ay inuulit lamang ang budget na puno ng tagas. Dadagdagan lang nang konti, puwede na.

Sa susunod na buwan ay maghahain tayo ng budget na kumikilala nang tama sa mga problema, at magtutuon din ng pansin sa tamang solusyon.

Ilan lang ito sa mga natuklasan nating problema. Heto naman po ang ilang halimbawa ng mga hakbang na ginagawa natin.

Nandiyan po ang kaso ng isang may-ari ng sanglaan. Bumili siya ng sasakyang tinatayang nasa dalawampu’t anim na milyong piso ang halaga.

Kung kaya mong bumili ng Lamborghini, bakit hindi mo kayang magbayad ng buwis?

Nasampahan na po ito ng kaso. Sa pangunguna nina Finance Secretary Cesar Purisima, Justice Secretary Leila de Lima, BIR Commissioner Kim Henares at Customs Commissioner Lito Alvarez, bawat linggo po ay may bago tayong kasong isinasampa kontra sa mga smuggler at sa mga hindi nagbabayad ng tamang buwis.

Natukoy na rin po ang salarin sa mga kaso nina Francisco Baldomero, Jose Daguio at Miguel Belen, tatlo sa anim na insidente ng extralegal killings mula nang umupo tayo.

Singkuwenta porsyento po ng mga insidente ng extralegal killings ang patungo na sa kanilang resolusyon.

Ang natitira pong kalahati ay hindi natin tatantanan ang pag-usig hanggang makamit ang katarungan.

Pananagutin natin ang mga mamamatay-tao. Pananagutin din natin ang mga corrupt sa gobyerno.

Nagsimula nang mabuo ang ating Truth Commission, sa pangunguna ni dating Chief Justice Hilario Davide. Hahanapin natin ang katotohanan sa mga nangyari diumanong katiwalian noong nakaraang siyam na taon.

Sa loob ng linggong ito, pipirmahan ko ang kauna-unahang Executive Order na nagtatalaga sa pagbuo nitong Truth Commission.

Kung ang sagot sa kawalan ng katarungan ay pananagutan, ang sagot naman sa kakulangan natin sa pondo ay mga makabago at malikhaing paraan para tugunan ang mga pagkatagal-tagal nang problema.

Napakarami po ng ating pangangailangan: mula sa edukasyon, imprastruktura, pangkalusugan, pangangailangan ng militar at kapulisan, at marami pang iba. Hindi kakasya ang pondo para mapunan ang lahat ng ito.

Kahit gaano po kalaki ang kakulangan para mapunan ang mga listahan ng ating pangangailangan, ganado pa rin ako dahil marami nang nagpakita ng panibagong interes at kumpyansa sa Pilipinas.

Ito ang magiging solusyon: mga Public-Private Partnerships. Kahit wala pa pong pirmahang nangyayari dito, masasabi kong maganda ang magiging bunga ng maraming usapin ukol dito.

May mga nagpakita na po ng interes, gustong magtayo ng expressway na mula Maynila, tatahak ng Bulacan, Nueva Ecija, Nueva Vizcaya, hanggang sa dulo ng Cagayan Valley nang hindi gugugol ang estado kahit na po piso.

Sa larangan ng ating Sandatahang Lakas:

Mayroon po tayong 36,000 nautical miles ng baybayin. Ang mayroon lamang tayo: tatlumpu’t dalawang barko. Itong mga barkong ito, panahon pa ni MacArthur.

May nagmungkahi sa atin, ito ang proposisyon: uupahan po nila ang headquarters ng Navy sa Roxas Boulevard at ang Naval Station sa Fort Bonifacio.

Sagot po nila ang paglipat ng Navy Headquarters sa Camp Aguinaldo. Agaran, bibigyan tayo ng isandaang milyong dolyar. At dagdag pa sa lahat nang iyan, magsusubi pa sila sa atin ng kita mula sa mga negosyong itatayo nila sa uupahan nilang lupa.

Sa madali pong sabi: Makukuha natin ang kailangan natin, hindi tatayo gagastos, kikita pa tayo.

Marami na pong nag-alok at nagmungkahi sa atin, mula lokal hanggang dayuhang negosyante, na magpuno ng iba’t ibang pangangailangan.

Mula sa mga public-private partnerships na ito, lalago ang ating ekonomiya, at bawat Pilipino makikinabang. Napakaraming sektor na matutulungan nito.

Maipapatayo na po ang imprastrukturang kailangan natin para palaguin ang turismo.

Sa agrikultura, makapagtatayo na tayo ng mga grains terminals, refrigeration facilities, maayos na road networks at post-harvest facilities.

Kung maisasaayos natin ang ating food supply chain sa tulong ng pribadong sektor, sa halip na mag-angkat tayo ay maari na sana tayong mangarap na mag-supply sa pandaigdigang merkado.

Kung maitatayo ang minumungkahi sa ating railway system, bababa ang presyo ng bilihin. Mas mura, mas mabilis, mas maginhawa, at makakaiwas pa sa kotong cops at mga kumokotong na rebelde ang mga bumibiyahe.

Paalala lang po: una sa ating plataporma ang paglikha ng mga trabaho, at nanggagaling ang trabaho sa paglago ng industriya. Lalago lamang ang industriya kung gagawin nating mas malinis, mas mabilis, at mas maginhawa ang proseso para sa mga gustong magnegosyo.

Pabibilisin natin ang proseso ng mga proyektong sumasailalim sa Build-Operate-Transfer. Sa tulong ng lahat ng sangay ng gobyerno at ng mga mamamayan, pabababain natin sa anim na buwan ang proseso na noon ay inaabot ng taon kung hindi dekada.

May mga hakbang na rin pong sinisimulan ang DTI, sa pamumuno ni Secretary Gregory Domingo:

Ang walang-katapusang pabalik-balik sa proseso ng pagrehistro ng pangalan ng kumpanya, na kada dalaw ay umaabot ng apat hanggang walong oras, ibababa na natin sa labinlimang minuto.

Ang dating listahan ng tatlumpu’t anim na dokumento, ibababa natin sa anim. Ang dating walong pahinang application form, ibababa natin sa isang pahina.

Nananawagan ako sa ating mga LGUs. Habang naghahanap tayo ng paraan para gawing mas mabilis ang pagbubukas ng mga negosyo, pag-aralan din sana nila ang kanilang mga proseso. Kailangan itong gawing mas mabilis, at kailangan itong itugma sa mga sinisumulan nating reporma.

Negosyante, sundalo, rebelde, at karaniwang Pilipino, lahat po makikinabang dito. Basta po hindi dehado ang Pilipino, papasukin po natin lahat iyan. Kailangan na po nating simulan ang pagtutulungan para makamit ito. Huwag nating pahirapan ang isa’t isa.

Parating na po ang panahon na hindi na natin kailangang mamili sa pagitan ng seguridad ng ating mamamayan o sa kinabukasan ng inyong mga anak.

Oras na maipatupad ang public-private partnerships na ito, mapopondohan ang mga serbisyong panlipunan, alinsunod sa ating plataporma.

Magkakapondo na po para maipatupad ang mga plano natin sa edukasyon.

Mapapalawak natin ang basic education cycle mula sa napakaikling sampung taon tungo sa global standard na labindalawang taon.

Madadagdagan natin ang mga classroom. Mapopondohan natin ang service contracting sa ilalim ng GASTPE.

Pati ang conditional cash transfers, na magbabawas ng pabigat sa bulsa ng mga pamilya, madadagdan na rin ng pondo.

Maipapatupad ang plano natin sa PhilHealth.

Una, tutukuyin natin ang tunay na bilang ng mga nangangailangan nito. Sa ngayon, hindi magkakatugma ang datos. Sabi ng PhilHealth sa isang bibig, walumpu’t pitong porsyento na raw ang merong coverage. Sa kabilang bibig naman, singkuwenta’y tres porsyento naman. Ayon naman sa National Statistics Office, tatlumpu’t walong porsyento ang may coverage.

Ngayon pa lang, kumikilos na si Secretary Dinky Soliman at ang DSWD upang ipatupad ang National Household Targetting System, na magtutukoy sa mga pamilyang higit na nagangailangan ng tulong. Tinatayang siyam na bilyon ang kailangan para mabigyan ng PhilHealth ang limang milyong pinakamaralitang pamilyang Pilipino.

Napakaganda po ng hinaharap natin. Kasama na po natin ang pribadong sektor, at kasama na rin natin ang League of Provinces, sa pangunguna nina Governor Alfonso Umali kasama sina Governor L-Ray Villafuerte at Governor Icot Petilla. Handa na pong makipagtulungan para makibahagi sa pagtustos ng mga gastusin. Alam ko rin pong hindi magpapahuli ang League of Cities sa pangunguna ni Mayor Oscar Rodriguez.

Kung ang mga gobyernong lokal ay nakikiramay na sa ating mga adhikain, ang Kongreso namang pinanggalingan ko, siguro naman maasahan ko din.

Nagpakitang-gilas na po ang gabinete sa pagtukoy ng ating mga problema at sa paglulunsad ng mga solusyon sa loob lamang ng tatlong linggo.

Nang bagyo pong Basyang, ang sabi sa atin ng mga may prangkisa sa kuryente, apat na araw na walang kuryente. Dahil sa mabilis na pagkilos ni Secretary Rene Almendras at ng Department of Energy, naibalik ang kuryente sa halos lahat sa loob lamang ng beinte-kwatro oras.

Ito pong sinasabing kakulangan sa tubig sa Metro Manila, kinilusan agad ni Secretary Rogelio Singson at ng DPWH. Hindi na siya naghintay ng utos, kaya nabawasan ang perwisyo.

Nakita na rin natin ang gilas ng mga hinirang nating makatulong sa Gabinete. Makatuwiran naman po sigurong umasa na hindi na sila padadaanin sa butas ng karayom para makumpirma ng Commission on Appointments. Kung mangyayari po ito, marami pa sa mga mahuhusay na Pilipino ang maeengganyong magsilbi sa gobyerno.

Sa lalong madaling panahon po, uupo na tayo sa LEDAC at pag-uusapan ang mga mahahalagang batas na kailangan nating ipasa. Makakaasa kayo na mananatiling bukas ang aking isipan, at ang ating ugnayan ay mananatiling tapat.

Isinusulong po natin ang Fiscal Responsibility Bill, kung saan hindi tayo magpapasa ng batas na mangangailangan ng pondo kung hindi pa natukoy ang panggagalingan nito. May 104.1 billion pesos tayong kailangan para pondohan ang mga batas na naipasa na, ngunit hindi maipatupad.

Kailangan din nating isaayos ang mga insentibong piskal na ibinigay noong nakaraan. Ngayong naghihigpit tayo ng sinturon, kailangang balikan kung alin sa mga ito ang dapat manatili at kung ano ang dapat nang itigil.

Huwag po tayong pumayag na magkaroon ng isa pang NBN-ZTE. Sa lokal man o dayuhan manggagaling ang pondo, dapat dumaan ito sa tamang proseso. Hinihingi ko po ang tulong ninyo upang amiyendahan ang ating Procurement Law.

Ayon po sa Saligang Batas, tungkulin ng estado ang siguruhing walang lamangan sa merkado. Bawal ang monopolya, bawal ang mga cartel na sasakal sa kumpetisyon. Kailangan po natin ng isang Anti-Trust Law na magbibigay-buhay sa mga prinsipyong ito. Ito ang magbibigay ng pagkakataon sa mga Small- at Medium-scale Enterprises na makilahok at tumulong sa paglago ng ating ekonomiya.

Ipasa na po natin ang National Land Use Bill.

Una rin pong naging batas ng Commonwealth ang National Defense Act, na ipinasa noon pang 1935. Kailangan nang palitan ito ng batas na tutugon sa pangangailangan ng pambansang seguridad sa kasalukuyan.

Nakikiusap po akong isulong ang Whistleblower’s Bill upang patuloy nang iwaksi ang kultura ng takot at pananahimik.

Palalakasin pa lalo ang Witness Protection Program. Alalahanin po natin na noong taong 2009 hanggang 2010, may nahatulan sa 95% ng mga kaso kung saan may witness na sumailalim sa programang ito.

Kailangang repasuhin ang ating mga batas. Nanawagan po akong umpisahan na ang rekodipikasyon ng ating mga batas, upang siguruhing magkakatugma sila at hindi salu-salungat.

Ito pong mga batas na ito ang batayan ng kaayusan, ngunit ang pundasyon ng lahat ng ginagawa natin ay ang prinsipyong wala tayong mararating kung walang kapayapaan at katahimikan.

Dalawa ang hinaharap nating suliranin sa usapin ng kapayapaan: ang situwasyon sa Mindanao, at ang patuloy na pag-aaklas ng CPP-NPA-NDF.

Tungkol sa situwasyon sa Mindanao: Hindi po nagbabago ang ating pananaw. Mararating lamang ang kapayapaan at katahimikan kung mag-uusap ang lahat ng apektado: Moro, Lumad, at Kristiyano. Inatasan na natin si Dean Marvic Leonen na mangasiwa sa ginagawa nating pakikipag-usap sa MILF.

Iiwasan natin ang mga pagkakamaling nangyari sa nakaraang administrasyon, kung saan binulaga na lang ang mga mamamayan ng Mindanao. Hindi tayo puwedeng magbulag-bulagan sa mga dudang may kulay ng pulitika ang proseso, at hindi ang kapakanan ng taumbayan ang tanging interes.

Kinikilala natin ang mga hakbang na ginagawa ng MILF sa pamamagitan ng pagdidisplina sa kanilang hanay. Inaasahan natin na muling magsisimula ang negosasyon pagkatapos ng Ramadan.

Tungkol naman po sa CPP-NPA-NDF: handa na ba kayong maglaan ng kongkretong mungkahi, sa halip na pawang batikos lamang?

Kung kapayapaan din ang hangad ninyo, handa po kami sa malawakang tigil-putukan. Mag-usap tayo.

Mahirap magsimula ang usapan habang mayroon pang amoy ng pulbura sa hangin. Nananawagan ako: huwag po natin hayaang masayang ang napakagandang pagkakataong ito upang magtipon sa ilalim ng iisang adhikain.

Kapayapaan at katahimikan po ang pundasyon ng kaunlaran. Habang nagpapatuloy ang barilan, patuloy din ang pagkakagapos natin sa kahirapan.

Dapat din po nating mabatid: ito ay panahon ng sakripisyo. At ang sakripisyong ito ay magiging puhunan para sa ating kinabukasan. Kaakibat ng ating mga karapatan at kalayaan ay ang tungkulin natin sa kapwa at sa bayan.

Inaasahan ko po ang ating mga kaibigan sa media, lalo na sa radyo at sa print, sa mga nagbablock-time, at sa community newspapers, kayo na po mismo ang magbantay sa inyong hanay.

Mabigyang-buhay sana ang mga batayang prinsipyo ng inyong bokasyon: ang magbigay-linaw sa mahahalagang isyu; ang maging patas at makatotohanan, at ang itaas ang antas ng pampublikong diskurso.

Tungkulin po ng bawat Pilipino na tutukan ang mga pinunong tayo rin naman ang nagluklok sa puwesto. Humakbang mula sa pakikialam tungo sa pakikilahok. Dahil ang nakikialam, walang-hanggan ang reklamo. Ang nakikilahok, nakikibahagi sa solusyon.

Napakatagal na pong namamayani ang pananaw na ang susi sa asenso ay ang intindihin ang sarili kaysa intindihin ang kapwa. Malinaw po sa akin: paano tayo aasenso habang nilalamangan ang kapwa?

Ang hindi nabigyan ng pagkakataong mag-aral, paanong makakakuha ng trabaho? Kung walang trabaho, paanong magiging konsumer? Paanong mag-iimpok sa bangko?

Ngunit kung babaliktarin natin ang pananaw—kung iisipin nating “Dadagdagan ko ang kakayahan ng aking kapwa"—magbubunga po ito, at ang lahat ay magkakaroon ng pagkakataon.

Maganda na po ang nasimulan natin. At mas lalong maganda po ang mararating natin. Ngunit huwag nating kalimutan na mayroong mga nagnanasang hindi tayo magtagumpay. Dahil kapag hindi tayo nagtagumpay, makakabalik na naman sila sa kapangyarihan, at sa pagsasamantala sa taumbayan.

Akin pong paniwala na Diyos at taumbayan ang nagdala sa ating kinalalagyan ngayon. Habang nakatutok tayo sa kapakanan ng ating kapwa, bendisyon at patnubay ay tiyak na maaasahan natin sa Poong Maykapal. At kapag nanalig tayo na ang kasangga natin ay ang Diyos, mayroon ba tayong hindi kakayanin?

Ang mandato nating nakuha sa huling eleksyon ay patunay na umaasa pa rin ang Pilipino sa pagbabago. Iba na talaga ang situwasyon. Puwede na muling mangarap. Tayo nang tumungo sa katuparan ng ating mga pinangarap.

Maraming salamat po.

What thought are you holding that is holding you back? Now you can let it go.

Nothing will come when you try to get it. Now you can stop trying and let it be.

The task is as difficult as you decide to make it. Now you can choose to let it easily and naturally flow.

The little things can give you an excuse to stop, or a place from which to jump to a higher level. Now you can be more authentic and effective than ever.

Proceed with the assumption that you will, and you will. Now you can make a valuable difference.

Touch the vision of who you wish to be, where you wish to go, and how you wish to live. Now you can let it come fully to life.

- Ralph Marston

1. Platform - The union should have a clear plan on how it intends to improve the lot of all the rank-and-file employees. What benefits/programs/initiatives will it advocate? Are such benefits/programs/initiatives indeed feasible, or are they just intended to win votes or to sway opinion in favor of the union? What are its concrete plans that will redound to the benefit of the members?

2. Transparency - The union should not hide the nature or details of its activities to the rank-and-file employees it represents, whether they be members or not. As the sole and accredited collective negotiating agent of the rank-and-file employees, all of us, whether we be members of the union or not, have a personal stake on how the union performs, on how it utilizes its financial and other resources, on how it negotiates or deals with management. Keeping us in the dark will only lead to speculation on what really happens behind closed doors.

3. Integrity - The union should have character. It should be trusted to do the right thing for the majority, and not serve the interests of a few. Its officers and members should not use the union for personal gain, for advancement of personal interests, for promoting themselves, or for receiving or giving favors to anyone. A union is more than the sum of all the individual members of the negotiating unit. It represents the greatest hope of the rank-and-file in protecting its interests and securing the best benefits and conditions of work possible within the framework of public sector unionism.

4. Sincerity - When the union speaks to you, do you really believe...do you really feel that it indeed has your best interests at heart? Do the members seem genuinely concerned over your situation as an employee, regardless of your rank, status, or standing within the community of rank-and-file employees? Are its officers and members sincere in their desire to help you? Or are they just approaching you just to get your vote, pretending to be your friend but after they get what they want from you, to drop you like yesterday's trash?

5. Truthfulness - A union should stand for truth. It should not sugarcoat or fabricate the truth if only to create a favorable opinion of itself among the employees. Nor it should advance itself at the expense of the truth, by hiding its failures and indiscretions. Nor should it rise up by capitalizing on the weaknesses of another, or by spreading lies and half-truths just to meet its objectives.

6. Justice - The union should give everyone their due. It should not favor one employee over the other simply because one is a member and the other is not, if the non-member is more deserving. It should ensure that wrongdoings be punished, and should not go out of its way to exculpate employees when said employees are guilty of wrong. In all its dealings with the employees or with management, it should take into heart the concept of equity and fair play.

7. Reliability - The union should be relied upon to look after the interests of the employees 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, for the three years that it serves as our collective negotiating agent. In times of crises it should always be there to ensure that we get the protection and representation we expect from them. There should never be an instance that the union is needed yet it is nowhere to be seen.

8. Leadership - The union should inspire and bring out the best from the employees. It should lead by example, its officers should be beyond reproach, without a shred of doubt as to their intentions. It should not try to buy the loyalty of the employees with promises of additional benefits or bonuses, delivered or not. It should earn the loyalty and respect of the employees by always doing the right thing, regardless of whether it favors the employees or not. It is not always easy to do the right thing. The union should be willing to make that hard choice if the situation calls for it.

9. Genuineness - The union should be genuinely concerned with the plight of the employees. It should not pretend to be pro-employee, but actually be pro-management when away from prying eyes. It should genuinely look after the interests of the members, and not compromise such interests by making anti-labor concessions with management on the premise of "I scratch your back, and you scratch mine".

10. Morality - A union should have strong moral fiber. It should not be vulnerable to temptation, it should not be blinded by financial inducements or promises of favors. It should not encourage immorality in all its iterations, nor tolerate such from within its officers. It should exercise ethical behavior in all its dealings. Everything should be above board.

There's no such thing as a get-rich quick scheme.

There. I said it.

In the realm of human existence, there are only a handful of ways to get rich in the shortest amount of time. You could win the lottery, invent something that sells like hotcakes, author a best selling book, create a successful business, get a high paying job, inherit from a rich deceased relative, be a movie/rock/sports star, marry into a rich family, or find hidden treasure.

If you're live in some Southeast Asian country south of Taiwan and east of Vietnam like I do, you could also add being a corrupt government official, or working at the Bureau of Customs to the list.

The truth is, for the vast majority of us, our financial situations hardly deviate much from where we started from. Yes, there will be improvements, but these are incremental (albeit tangible), and nowhere near the rags to riches prospect that everyone dreams of.

In short, more often than not, if you're rich, you stay rich, and if you're poor, well, you stay poor. Of course this is not a hard and fast rule...there are exceptions, and you'd be surprised how hard work and perseverance go a long way towards achieving one's dream of financial bliss.

What everyone knows, and what almost everyone is quick to forget when faced with the prospect of a get-rich quick scheme is that it takes money to make money. That's why the rich get richer, and the poor, stay poor. Get-rich quick schemes were invented by people who wanted to generate instant wealth without the bother of investing their own money. So what do they do? They come up with systems were they use other people's cash.

The most common schemes are Ponzi schemes and pyramid schemes. A Ponzi scheme in simplest terms involves inducing people to invest money with the promise of a high return...more often than not too high to be sustainable, and without any concrete proof or only a vague description of how the money is invested or how it generates profit. A pyramid scheme on the other hand, is like a Ponzi scheme in that it induces people to invest their money, and the investors in turn are encouraged to find other investors, and so on and so forth. The key characteristic is that there isn't any tangible product or service to speak of. It's just money generation, and, in most countries, it's illegal.

Some manage to make pyramiding legal by simple adding a concrete product or service. In this case, the scheme is no longer pyramiding per se, it's now a Multi-level marketing scheme. While it's no longer illegal, to me at least, I think it's unethical, unsustainable, and encourages greed.

I've seen a lot of multi-level marketing schemes over the years, and, as much as I'm ashamed to admit it, participated in quite a few as well. The products can involve anything from hotel accommodations, herbal juices, vitamin supplements, shark oil, garlic capsules, imitation jewelry, leather goods, garments, cleaning products, cookware, ionized water, and the list goes on and on. Virtually any product can be shoe-horned into a multi-level marketing scheme, and people will continue buying into it, to be swayed by a mere (but impressive) PowerPoint presentation.

Frankly my experience in multi-level marketing wasn't that pleasant. Did I make money? Yes, I suppose. Did I get rich? No. If you're a multi-level marketing advocate you'd probably just say I didn't persevere enough in getting many downlines. You'd probably be right. In the end I find myself being reduced to a mere salesman, selling products people don't need, to people who don't want to buy them, only to get them in the same boat as I am. It's distasteful. You could probably get rich if in multi-level marketing if you really push yourself...but the scheme itself stimulates greed, you end up alienating a lot of friends, you saturate the market, enter into arguments as areas overlap and downlines cross, and at the end of the day, you're not even that richer. Is it worth it? In my book, no. The only ones who get rich in a multi-level marketing scheme are the product manufacturers/retailers who supply the object of the scheme, and those at the uppermost tiers (who probably started the scheme), leaving everyone else below to fight among themselves for prospective downlines. Again, it is distasteful, and quite indicative of how some people are willing to get rich at other people's expense.

Only recently a former officemate was inviting me to participate in another scheme of sorts. The rules seem simple enough. I'm supposed to invest 299 USD, and in a week's time, I'll get a return of 777 USD, or a return of investment of about 160%. When pressed for details, she said something vague about travel accommodations. The 160% return on investment by itself is already a red flag. No legal investments can offer such a high rate, and by itself is more than enough to arouse suspicion. I tried browsing such a a scheme on the internet and found this. Simply put, it's another multi-level marketing ploy that is in fact, under investigation. No way I'm giving away 299 USD. As if I had 299 USD in the first place anyway.

Face the facts people. You will never meet a person who got rich from a multi-level scheme (except of course the very top tier), the same way you'll never meet a fortuneteller or psychic who has won the lottery. Most of the die-hard multi-level marketers I know are still at it, moving to another scheme when the old ones saturate the market or become stale. Yes, it could be a way to eke out a living if you're really good at it...but let face it, you'll hardly get rich from it, and you'll probably lose a lot of friends along the way. You're probably better off with a stable, moderate to high paying job, especially if income security is what you're after.

I know a lot of multi-level marketing diehards out there...and to be honest, most of them are not very pleasant people to be with, almost always seemingly obsessed with making money, and are the type to say almost anything...even lie...just to close a transaction. And God do I hate liars.

Just consider yourselves warned people.

The Law of Conservation of Energy states: Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it may be changed from one form to another. The same can be said for money. It is neither created, nor destroyed, it has to come from somewhere.

So if the return seems too good to be true...then it probably is...and you should avoid it at all costs.

As for multi-level marketing...personally I'd rather not lose my soul for the pursuit of easy money. Because in the real world...there really isn't such a thing as easy money...unless you take advantage of another.

Tip:

When being recruited for a multi-level marketing scheme, save yourself the aggravation and just say No. If you're into that type of thing though, at least look it up on the internet to see if it's viable, or a scam.

Just a repost. You never know who might notice.

Anyone here interested in purchasing or leasing a plot of commercial land located along Commonwealth Ave. in Quezon City? It's my father's property, and it has a lot area of 2,844 sqm., with a number of residential improvements. The frontage is a bit on the small side, at 14 m., but it directly faces Commonwealth Ave.

The lot has been on the market for quite a while, but since the real estate market has been down for some time now...well you know how it is.

Just in case you're interested, or know someone who is, please feel free to leave a comment or to email me at ronallandottk@yahoo.com. To cut the hassle, would prefer to deal with direct buyers only. Sometimes it can be quite hard dealing with a multitude of brokers and middlemen...you know how that is too. :-)

You can also call 9315575 if you have any inquiries.

Siteplan of the property.


Aerial view. The road at the top of the photo is Commonwealth Avenue.


Here's a tighter aerial shot. The improvements are clearly visible from this distance.

And just in case you're wondering, no, I didn't hire an airplane or a helicopter. Used Google Earth instead. :-)

I've always prided myself for being strong...for being sure of myself. The irony is, that's all an illusion. An illusion I've built for myself to make sure that I'm always in a position of control, to give others the impression that I'm okay in my own little niche, the niche inside my head where I've often sought refuge to protect myself from the pain of the real world.

It's not often I drop that illusion to anyone I know. In fact, I can count on the fingers of one hand the times that I showed my true self to anyone, that of being a needy, insecure individual, devoid of self-confidence, always expecting things to go wrong, always in need of reassurance or validation of the things I do or think of.

Therein lies the rub.

It is this weak side of my persona...dare I say who I am for real, that I show to the few people I've really cared for. It is also this weak side...that disappoints them and drives them away. They see, and perhaps are attracted to the illusion of strength that I project, when in truth, despite my age, I am just a sniveling snot-nosed kid on the inside who needs someone to be there for me.

This is probably the reason why I have often been left behind through the years...and the reason why I've always been reluctant to be close to anyone in the first place...though I wouldn't want to admit it to myself. When I drop my mask, I'm just someone who's more of a burden that I'd care to think of myself as.

I guess this may well be one of those times again.

If this happens again, I may just have to admit the fact that I'm not one anyone would ever want to go out on a limb for, to takes risks for. I mean, why would anyone want to take a chance on someone who lives his life showing a false mask to the outside world, only to see a crumbling, rotten, termite-infested weak core on the inside?

It truly is ironic, if you think about it.

The only time I'm comfortable being my true self is with someone I really care for. But when they see who I really am under the surface...they turn tail and go...maybe not at first...but eventually.

It's not their fault I guess, even though I've spent years convincing myself that I'm a good person, an honorable person, a person who keeps his word. Maybe I really am not. I'm just weak. And no one wants to be with a weak person, who ends up being more of a liability than an asset. And no one really wants liabilities.

I guess this is the awful truth that I just have to accept.

It took me several years...but maybe that's what I need to admit to make peace with myself. That I'm just a burden to those I open up to...and I really don't want to be a burden to anyone.

If I lose what I have now...this would only confirm my worst suspicions about myself, and its probably not a good idea to show who I really am to anyone anymore.

It's disappointing...but I guess it can't be helped. Better I disappoint now than later I suppose...

Just when I was starting to feel really good about myself too...

I've always prided myself on being what I am. I guess what I really am on the inside is not something to be proud of.

*sigh*

Am I?

Someone close to me asked me once or twice if I'm the possessive type of person in a relationship. To be honest, I never really thought of myself as the possessive type. I've been in a few relationships in my life, and while I have my share of character flaws...more than my share actually, being possessive didn't seem to be one of them. I guess I could be mistaken for that though, because I am fond of giving my attention to someone I care for, but it doesn't really mean that I give my attention 24/7, nor do I obligate her to receive my attention, 24/7.

While I definitely enjoy the company of someone special, I would like to think that I know where the lines are drawn, and what things I shouldn't intrude into. I know this, because I tend to be a very private person myself, and indeed there are just some things that are better left to yourself.

Couples don't really have to tell each other everything. While I don't really like too many secrets between couples, it doesn't necessarily follow that one always has to tell the other everything. I suppose it depends on one's comfort level. If one is comfortable divulging all the details of his or her life, then let him or her do it by all means. If one isn't, then he or she shouldn't be forced to. Being forced to talk about stuff one would rather not only makes the person uncomfortable, and being uncomfortable is one of the last things you want when you're in a relationship.

I have this "thing" though. Not that I have many things like this, but there is this something I'm not really comfortable with... I just don't like it when a significant other (hypothetically speaking of course, since I may or may not have a significant other) would go out with another guy...just the two of them, even if I know there's nothing going on, even if I know that they're just friends...unless of course, they're related. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not...and I would like to think that I am not, but, that's it. That's my "thing". When I think about why such a situation upsets me, I guess it reminds me of less than pleasant things that happened in my past, that people aren't perfect and may fall to temptation, and that there are indeed people...who can...break your trust.

Looking at the big picture, it doesn't mean that I don't want my significant other (assuming I had one) living her own life, doing her own thing, going out with her own friends. Of course she can...and she should. Relationships should broaden the parties' horizons, and not limit them. A relationship is not a set of blinders one puts on the other party to narrow his or her view of the world. With respect to the "thing" I mentioned above, I just prefer it if she doesn't go out with another guy as a pair. It would be better it if they weren't just by themselves. Other than that, I don't really mind.

Maybe its paranoia I suppose. If I had the choice I'd simply rather not deal with the potential for gossip, the possibility of temptation no matter if remote, the emergence of doubt, or the chance for lies to rear their ugly heads. It's because yes, I've been in such a situation in the past, and no, it didn't turn out so good. The ironic thing is, it wasn't the going out with another guy, just the two of them which did me in. In fact I didn't mind...at least at the time. It was its aftereffects, which led to one thing and then another...and I don't really like thinking about it anymore.

What about now? If that "thing" happens again would it upset me? I guess it would. But would I be really, really upset? Probably not. Still...

Personally, I wouldn't do that, or at least avoid it as much as possible. That is, go out with another woman, as a pair. It doesn't really matter if we're not doing anything bad or illicit, or anything like that. It's just that I'd rather not give my significant other (again, assuming I had one) a reason to doubt me, and that's it.

Doubt leads to fear, fear leads to pain, pain leads to sadness...you know the rest. That's why I never liked it when there's doubt.

Back to the issue of possessiveness, I took this test just for the hell of it, and answered it as truthfully as I could. This is what I got:

Your score is 5. You don't really have any issues with possessiveness. You are a secure and trusting partner and this is to your credit. You don't let things get to you until you have a concrete reason to do so, and this makes for some really healthy relationships. Keep up the good work!

Go figure.

Maybe I'm really not that possessive at all. But let's see.

Foreword to the repost:

This is one of my most read blog entries, as well as one of my oldest ones, having been posted almost six years ago. Thought I'd post it again. Old or not, some people still find it interesting. That's one of the nice things about having posted a ton of entries. I can always recycle one if I'm suffering from writer's block. :-)

(Foreword to the repost dated June 3, 2010)

Foreword:

This is one of my very first posts, made more than a year ago. Just thought I'd post it again.

Since it is more than a year old, and written during the dawn of my blogging days, it doesn't really meet my present standards as far as the writing style and thoroughness are concerned, especially taking into consideration the fact that it deals with a rather touchy subject for some. Then, I just wrote for myself, about whatever comes to mind, without any regard for the sensitivities of an audience. A year later, some things have changed. Not only are there people kind enough to actually read what I post, my thoughts about the subject have also changed somewhat...mellowed down if you will, perhaps because of time and age.

However, I still think this post is still interesting, even a year down the road. Consequently, I didn't bother updating or rewriting it, and posted it exactly how it came out a year ago. As such, if you find it lacking in some aspect, don't forget to treat it for what it is...simply an old post, possibly written ahead of its time.

(Foreword dated November 25, 2005.)

I'm 32 years old, and I have been married once. That marriage had been over for the past five or so years, and declared null and void for the last two. Yet on occasion...like now for example...I still tend to reflect and ponder over it.

Divorce/annulment rates are on the rise, more so in developed and developing countries. I predict a trend: in a about a couple of generations...less than a hundred years...marriage would not be a prevalent custom or tradition between couples as it is today. It's just a matter of time before divorce/annulment rates take up a major portion of the marriage numbers...making marriage an inconsequential and insignificant undertaking.

Even now, we see the effects of this trend. Whereas marriage used to be an end in itself...a life decision...with lifetime consequences...it is common knowledge that marriage has not been as durable as a bond between couples as it was in the past. Instead, it is now considered more or less a stop over, a temporary and reversible state, much so that it is no longer unusual to see people move in and out of marriages repeatedly throughout their lives.

Don't get me wrong. I still respect marriage. In fact, I'd rather be married than single. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, or still cling to old morals and values, but a lot of people nowadays feel just the opposite.

Maybe it was inevitable. Historically, it has only been in the last forty to fifty years or so when we saw divorce/annulment rates skyrocket. And why did this happen? The number of broken marriages started a slow but steady upsurge when women started empowering themselves...the women's liberation movement of the 60's perhaps? Before, no matter how abusive, irresponsible, or downright unpleasant husbands became, their wives never left them, never filed for divorce, never separated from them. Why? Simply because they did what was expected from them at the time. Women were supposed to be homemakers, and unquestionably loyal to their husbands, no matter what. Nowadays, this sentiment hardly exists anymore, and women are hardly expected to remain silent in the face of spousal abuse. Of course, I do not condone abusive, irresponsible or unfaithful husbands...and women have the right to leave any environment...such as marriage...that is detrimental to their well being. But it seems that with our modern society granting equal status to women as a sex, the place of men being the traditional heads of families is now up for grabs. The logic is: if women can do anything men do, why can't they perform the functions of being head of a family?

Well, the reality is, yes, they can. However, this role as far as women are concerned puts them directly at odds with several thousand years of social traditions and customs which assume that the man is the indisputable head of a family. Perhaps this precept makes this pattern go against several million years of evolution as well. The end result of this is that there will be an inevitable clash for leadership of the basic block of human society...the family. And in the process, we can expect many families to be casualties of this conflict. I know I was. Maybe.

In the future, we will have women bearing children by different men. We have men living up to their polygamous nature. Marriage as a social institution will probably cease to exist, or probably still exist as an exception to general rule. In fact we can even see this happening today...just look around you. If this isn't the middle of some trend, I don't know what else it is. Scary? Perhaps. Society is changing faster than our sense of morals can keep up with it. And fear brings up a vicious cycle...fear of the weakening marriage bonds only weakens it further...in effect even less people would dare risk getting married.

This idea somewhat lodged itself in my brain after watching the movie The Stepford Wives. In the movie, husbands actually went as far as reprogram their wives with mid 20th century values...turning them into plain homemakers and housewives....The movie wasn't all that bad, and the premise was...intriguing to say the least. What will the family be like in the future? I cannot say with complete certainty, but it will be different from what we know. Same sex marriages are already in the horizon. What else is in store for us in the future? Whether it will be better...or worse, remains to be seen.

(Originally posted November 23, 2004)

I have writer's block. I don't know what to write about.

At this very moment I'm sitting in front of my notebook, listening to random MP3s, while I burn another hour before I can take to the streets.

Everything is a blank though. No, I'm not sad, nor am I depressed. Am I happy? In a general sense I am. Maybe I'm just bored, but then again I really have no idea what I want to do at this particular moment, so I'm sitting here, staring into space, my mind devoid of anything, except for the words I'm typing at this very moment.

The music of Coldplay fills the air, emanating from the tinny speakers of my cheap notebook while the setting sun shines its last few minutes of sunlight through the window blinds at the other side of the room. And here I sit. Pondering nullity.

I guess I could go for a cigarette right about now, but I'm making a conscious effort to reduce the number of cigarettes I smoke, so, no. I could go downstairs and check if the ATM to my bank is now online, but somehow I can't bring myself to stand up. Maybe later.

So what's on my mind? Nothing really. And I mean nothing. I think I ran out of scenarios to run through my head. I still have that favorite scenario of mine, what to do in case I win the Lotto, but I've thought about that so many times during my frequent episodes of idleness that I seem to have grown tired of that one.

I called up my son just to exchange a few pleasantries, but we really don't have much to talk about right now, so that's that.

Hmmm...

Maybe I could use a beer, but I guess my days of drinking for no reason are now numbered. Not that I'm complaining really, since I was never really much of a drinker in the first place.

Things have settled down on the western front though, so no worries there. No sense wasting brain cells on that anymore, I have already thought that situation and all possible scenarios related to that to death, and the bottom line is, Que Sera Sera.

I want to do something, though I don't really know what.

I'm not that hungry. Nor do I really feel like seeing a movie. I'm not that sleepy either. I'm not really lonely though...not anymore, so that's not it either. Maybe I should buy something, but I don't really need anything.

Daughtry is now playing.

I'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing...

Do I feel like singing?

I'm not sure. I always liked singing to myself. When I drive, or when I'm alone. Lately someone kinda likes hearing me sing. I really don't mind...though it's a bit different. There was this one person a long time ago...who also used to like hearing me sing too, but that was so long, long ago, and I scarcely remember whatever feelings I had during that time, and how I felt whenever I sang a song to her then.

I still love singing though. And I don't really mind singing for another person...for her...now.

I used to be in a band, but that seems like a lifetime away. It's different now. Singing for her. How different? Basta.

Maybe I should pack up now. Only half an hour left before seven.

Maybe tomorrow I won't be such a blank.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- Elizabeth Barret Browning

Solo jeepney ride, that is.

Yesterday, a little before noon, my son and I undertook a grand experiment...well not that grand to be honest. In the grand scheme of things it's probably mediocre. Still, useful lessons ought to be learned, so we, or at least I, thought it to be a worthwhile endeavor to teach my son how to ride a jeepney by himself.

Actually, he taught himself. I wasn't there with him. If I were, it wouldn't be a solo jeepney ride would it?

I drove him near his school, which was beside Sto. Domingo church in Quezon City, gave him a couple of bills, and gave him the four cardinal rules of jeepney riding: (1) Don't draw attention to himself; (2) Don't display any expensive stuff like his cellphone or PSP; (3) Keep his eyes peeled, and to trust his senses. If he thinks something is off or looks suspicious, find another jeepney; and lastly (4) Look cool.

Unfortunately, he botched the last one, since the first thing that happened when he got off the car was that his shoe came flying off, no doubt because of his laziness in tying shoelaces properly. After retrieving the errant shoe, he retreated back to the car to put it on...an auspicious start to the the first of many experiences in taking public transportation.

A year or so ago, his Mom told me he didn't want his son to take public transport. Frankly, I think its inevitable. He's already a teenager, and in a few years he'll be in college, he won't always have someone to fetch him, nor would he probably want to be fetched in certain circumstances, so he might as well learn now. I suppose mothers tend to be overprotective of their brood. In my case, I'd prefer my son get out into the world and learn the important...and even less important stuff by himself. That's the only way he'll get to learn responsibility...something he won't learn if his parents are always there to shelter him from the world or bail him out of everything.

Well, so I left him there by the side road, and drove back home. Others may have waited until he got himself on a jeepney, but not me. I just drove right out of there. Was I worried? Not really. It's a rite of passage. All of us do it eventually, he so might as well get a head start. Besides, how hard is it really? I've seen kids half his age take jeepney rides by themselves, with backpacks perhaps as heavy as they were.

I got home, and just did the usual. About 15 minutes later, he got home, and that was it.

His first.

Obviously, it won't be his last.

If in my deep slumber

I would awaken,

And find my world

And life’s dreams

To be forsaken,

Let me hold onto my credence

Of someday I’ll find you home.

Back to where my heart is longing,

Ease my heart that’s breaking,

Stop the tears falling,

And come back home.

If by chance we meet

And you see that I am confused,

Put a stop to my confusion

And carry me home.

Destiny’s already woven

We’ve got to keep believing

That ours are interwoven,

That’s all I could do to

Keep apart from you,

Hoping someday

Love would see us through.

Though troubles and despairs may

Be cast upon our ways, but

God would see us through.

Home, will be the place in my heart

Where you’ll stay for a lifetime,

I’ll wait for you in the meantime

When the time would be right

For us to decide

What’s next in line.

Just remember that –

I will always love you,

For my home is your heart…

and yours is in mine.

- Lynae

Way Back Into Love
Hugh Grant Featuring Haley Bennett

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Just a repost. You never know who might notice.

Anyone here interested in purchasing or leasing a plot of commercial land located along Commonwealth Ave. in Quezon City? It's my father's property, and it has a lot area of 2,844 sqm., with a number of residential improvements. The frontage is a bit on the small side, at 14 m., but it directly faces Commonwealth Ave.

The lot has been on the market for quite a while, but since the real estate market has been down for some time now...well you know how it is.

Just in case you're interested, or know someone who is, please feel free to leave a comment or to email me at ronallandottk@yahoo.com. To cut the hassle, would prefer to deal with direct buyers only. Sometimes it can be quite hard dealing with a multitude of brokers and middlemen...you know how that is too. :-)

You can also call 9315575 if you have any inquiries.

Siteplan of the property.


Aerial view. The road at the top of the photo is Commonwealth Avenue.


Here's a tighter aerial shot. The improvements are clearly visible from this distance.

And just in case you're wondering, no, I didn't hire an airplane or a helicopter. Used Google Earth instead. :-)

The summer air:
saps my strength
I sit in my chair.

Yes. That's it.

Bounded by the thoughts of what once was
I lingered, filled with emotions that’ll never come to pass
Trapped in a time I thought won't ever last
Silenced by the memories of the past.

Within these walls, I blindly walk
Not knowing when or where to go.
Shadows of doubt had loomed so free,
Trying to fill the void that once was me.

In this emptiness, I quietly lay,
Waiting and hoping for time to make haste
Fading the delusions of the mind,
Of dreams that I can never find.

- Lynae

Last night, out of the blue, I received a message on my Facebook account.

It was her.

My first girlfriend, whom I last heard from 19 years ago.

I look at her profile picture. She still looks exactly the same as I remember her. Apparently she's doing well...and not surprisingly, she has her own family now.

Frankly, I don't know how to react.

I must have made an impression on her, since she remembered me and actually looked me up after all these years.

Though it was 19 years ago, I still remember how I felt back then. I remember how we met when I first got a summer job working at a Dunkin' Donuts shop in SM North Edsa. I remember how I used to wait for her until she punched out of the donut shop where we both worked so I could take her home. I remember when she was reassigned to a branch in Quiapo where I used to visit her, even though I wasn't working anymore. I remember when she left Manila to go back home to Pangasinan. I remember how hard I tried to maintain a long-distance relationship. I remember writing to her so often...every few days I'd mail her a letter. I remember when I finally received a letter from her calling it off. I remember that I was so heartbroken that my physician sister gave me Trazepam to calm me down. I remember it took me months to get over her...even though we weren't a couple for very long.

I remember taking my relationship with her so seriously...and I was just 18 at the time.

I remember everything.

Well, that's all water on the bridge. My feelings for her have long gone now, and I have moved on. It's still a bit disconcerting though, getting in touch again with someone who was my first love. All I had of her were my memories, and now, she exists again as a real flesh and blood person, albeit through the ether of cyberspace.

I don't really feel anything. Should I feel something? If so, what?

I never really expected to get in touch with her again. But with technology advancing the way it is...it was inevitable I guess.

The facts haven't changed though. She will always be my first love, and my memories of her will always be special. Looking back, I was really disappointed when it ended way back then. But we were just kids at the time, so it was bound to happen. And like most of my relationships which followed (not that there were a lot mind you), I loved her more than she loved me. I needed her more than she needed me. Even after 19 years, some things never change. I still love the same way...since I don't know any other way to love.

19 years hence, I also learned something else:

While your first love will always be special...it is your last love which will truly matter in the end.

And I'm really hoping that this will be my last. I don't think my heart can take this strain again.

JULIET:

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.

- From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself when someone told me that some union members where planning to change the name of their union supposedly "because the union name has no credibility". Hello? How can a union name "not have any credibility"? It's just a name.

Sometimes I can't help but be surprised how shallow some people can be. It is the officers and members of a union which give it its credibility, and not the name. Even if the name was changed, but if you still had the same people on board, and these people are not credible to begin with, it doesn't matter how many times you change the name, or what name you change it to. The organization will still lack credibility.

As I'm often fond of saying: A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. And by the same token, a pile of shit would still stink no matter what you call it.

What's in a name anyway?

Are the terms we use to refer to someone, to something, really that important? It would seem so at first glance...but people and things remain who and what they are...no matter what you call them.

I have this friend...this close friend whom I actually care a lot for, who used to make a point of not calling the times we went out "dates". It bothered me a bit at first...but then I realized it really didn't matter what she called it. It would still be me, her, and whatever we chose to do when we went out. I would still enjoy her company and hopefully she would enjoy mine. Does it really matter if it's technically a "date" or not? Maybe, maybe not.

She always considered the term "date" as something to be contextualized in the romantic sense...a sense she would rather not consider at this point in time. She may be right...but at the end of the day it is what it is. If none...one...or both of us, let slip in the occasional romantic thought or inuendo, it doesn't really detract from...or enhance...or change the experience. It still is what it is, two people sharing a common activity. It will remain what it's expected to be, no matter what you call it. Whether it leads to something else or not, that's up to the people involved to decide for themselves.

I also find it a bit amusing that she finds it difficult to call me by my first name...my first name only, with no "honorifics". Not that I give a big deal about it...she can call me anything she wants to...and I would still be the person she's referring to. It just turns out we worked in a professional capacity some years ago, and she got used to addressing me with an honorific prefix before my name. Lately, we haven't really crossed paths on a professional level, though as of late, we've been..."intertwined" (her words) on a personal level. And yet, on occasion, she still uses the honorifics, and hesitates without them. To her credit, she's trying to drop the prefix, albeit with some difficulty. It's not a big deal...but it still is quite amusing to observe. :-)

Names in a way are labels...and labels aren't always a good thing. I say this, despite the fact that I have often been guilty of labeling things, people or situations in my head, a form of "social triage" if you will, that I often do to make things convenient and save me some frustration from the real world.

Naming or labeling things...really don't change their nature. The names and labels are for convenience, perhaps for filing these things in our memories, for classifying things for easy reference. Unfortunately, some of us have this penchant for taking names and labels literally...therein lies the rub. Labels often create an impression in our minds even before we have actually grasped or understood the situation, and that often leads to incorrect presumptions, stereotyping...or to worse things like bias, bigotry, or discrimination. And these things can be more trouble than they're worth.

So, to cap things off, what is in a name anyway? Nothing much really. Because it simply is what it is. And things are what they are.

Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.

- Gertrude Stein

This is one of those posts which are about nothing in particular. I felt like posting an update, but for the life of me, nothing really blog-worthy seems to be popping into my head at this very moment.

I'm not saying that there's nothing going on. I guess there is, but at this point in time I guess I'd rather not blog about it since it's a hanging issue, and I don't think its a good idea to preempt something, whether it goes one way or another. Suffice it to say that I'm still hoping for the best, and at the same time, afraid of...yet preparing for the worst.

As for other things...not much to report.

I keep getting a lot of input from other people suggesting that I try doing something new in our office. At this point I'm not so sure about that. Maybe I'll wait until things settle down. With the national elections over more than a week ago, and a new administration starting on June 30, a lot of things could still happen in our office. It's not impossible for our office to have its own change of administration, so I guess long-term career plans, and for that matter, any long-term plans regarding our office would have to held in abeyance at least until after June.

I haven't seen my son in about two weeks, probably more if I really counted the days. I'm not really complaining or anything, I'm used to him being away on trips for long periods of time with his mom, and besides, it's good that he gets to go places. I was never really much of a travel person, and it's not very likely he would get the same experiences with me.

It is a bit boring though. If I wasn't doing what I'm currently doing, I would probably be bored silly. If my son were here, it's not as if we would do a lot stuff together. He's a teenager, with a mind and world of his own, and he's no longer the chubby kid I used to drag along with me to malls and parks, the kid I used to bribe with visits to McDonald's or Jollibee or Toy Kingdom just to get him on board. Nowadays, he'd just log on Facebook or play Cabal Online and chat with his friends and guildmates while an anime is playing in a window until someone told him that it was time to eat. Not that he's a couch potato. He goes biking, skateboarding and waveboarding whenever the sun isn't too hot.

Speaking of friends, my son already has 360 friends on his Facebook account, almost a hundred more than me. I used to play this game in my head that I shouldn't let my son have more friends than me on Facebook. :-) Unfortunately, my son has more charisma and makes friends quite easily, and it was inevitable that he would exceed my number of Facebook friends in a relatively short amount of time.

That's good. He's becoming a person in his own right, and not just his parents' son.

Hmmm...so what else is there to talk about?

I'm still figuring out what I want to do with my life. I think I already have an idea, but I don't want to jinx it. Let's just say that I don't want to go back to what I was before. The place I was before was just a void. A safe void, but a void nonetheless. It wasn't really a nice place to be, and I'd rather not go back there if I had anything to say about it.

For now, I'm happier than I've been in a long time, and I aim to make the most of it. I want this state to last a long, long time, but unfortunately that's really not up to me. Even if things go south from here though...even if the feelings of happiness end right this very moment...everything that happened wasn't in vain. I've been happier the past several weeks (with some scattered bouts of depression here and there, since it comes with the territory) than I was the past several years, and those moments of happiness, fleeting as they may end up being, make everything worth it.

Postscript:

Jiraiya is dead. :-)

Your action may be required.
MEMO : TO ALL EMPLOYEES
Effective immediately

DRESS CODE

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes, a Giorgio Armani suit or carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

HOLIDAY DAYS

Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year of holidays. They are called Sunday.

COMPASSIONATE LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead relatives, friends or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employee involvement attend the arrangements. In rare cases where the employee's involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

TOILET USE

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict
three-minutes limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of the three-minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll
will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company's notice board under the "chronic offenders" category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's
mental health policy.

LUNCH BREAK

1. Skinny employees get 30 minutes break for lunch, as they need to eat more
so that they will look healthy.

2,. Normal size employees get 15 minutes break for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby employees get 5 minutes break for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a "slim-fast."

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember, we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations and input should be directed elsewhere.

For your guidance and strict compliance.

Am I?

Too sensitive for my own good?

Maybe I am, and I just haven't realized it.

Maybe I kept to myself for so long now, that I've forgotten how to take other people's thoughts and actions in stride;

Maybe I've always distanced myself from everyone else, and now I'm not sure how to be close to anyone anymore;

Maybe I've been doing things my own way for the longest time now, and I'm no longer used to people telling me I'm doing the wrong thing, or telling me to do something else;

Maybe I've been so full of myself for years, that I filled up the space meant for other people with my own self-loathing;

Maybe I've been so cynical about other people that I find it difficult adjusting to the concept that there are some people who actually care about me without wanting anything from me;

Maybe I've been so preoccupied with giving that I don't know how to receive anymore;

Maybe I've finally turned into an antisocial paranoiac.

Maybe I'm already dead...but I just don't know it.

That's a lot of maybes...

Hard disk space that is.

I have a total of 2 GB of Network-attached storage, consisting of a Linksys NAS200 with two 500 GB Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 SATA drives, and a 1 TB Seagate FreeAgent Desk connected to the NAS200 via USB.

It isn't enough.

Linksys NAS200.


Seagate FreeAgent Desk.

I bought the NAS200 with its two drives about a year and a half ago. The FreeAgent is only about four months old. Between the two of them I only have about 200 GB of space free, and at the rate I'm downloading stuff, I'd probably fill my drives to capacity in a few weeks' time.

Two terabytes of movies, TV series, animes, documentaries, comic books, e-books, MP3s, and what not.

When I first started with computers in the 80s, (yes I'm old, I know) I thought the 143 KB capacity of a single-sided 5.25" floppy on my Apple II Plus was a godsend, especially when compared to the meager capacity and inconvenience of storing data on cassette tapes, which were popular at the time. Today in 2010, I have 7 million times the capacity of those 143 KB discs, and it still isn't enough.

Nowadays, it seems the best way to store your data is on a hard drive. I've been backing up and storing programs and data on various media over the past three decades, but eventually you end up with a pile of storage media in various formats and no drive to read them.

Stored in my closets, cabinets and shelves are hundreds of neatly filed 160 KB 5.25" discs from my long dead Apple II, 360 KB 5.25" floppies from my old PC, 1.2 MB HD 5.25" floppies for an AT high density drive, 720 KB and 1.44 MB 3.5" microfloppies, dozens of 100 MB Zip Disks, and a few 1 GB Jaz Disks, most of which are chock full of data, but for all intents and purposes, useless. In a few years CD-ROMs, CD-Rs and CD-RWs will be obsolete as well, and I also have hundreds of them. A few more years after that, the vast collection of DVDs I have will also be obsolete. The moral of the story is that any storage medium, no matter how high-tech it may seem when you first use them, is destined to be obsolete, so don't bother accumulating much of them.

At present, I rely mostly on network attached drives, USB drives, and flash drives, aside from the internal drives of my various PCs. No doubt after a while these will be obsolete as well. I haven't gotten around to getting any of those new-fangled solid-state drives (SSDs), I still can't afford them.

For now I guess, it's either I cut down on the downloads, or get more storage space.

Okay. I'll get more storage space. :-)